Forgive me, Love
by Rogue4787
Summary: ROMY. PostAntarctica, Rogue goes looking for Remy in the one place she hasn't searched, his home on the river. While there, she remembers the good times they had together and learns things about herself and their relationship that she never knew before.


I'm back!!!! So, it's not another chapter of TD, but it is a new story, one that I have been working on for over 2 years and is finally complete!! I've put a ton of time into this story, and I am so excited to share it with you guys.

The story is based off the song **Your House** by Alanis Morisette. It's the bonus song on Jagged Little Pill (only the greatest CD ever). It's acoustic and beautiful and, if you've never heard it, you have to go listen to it.

My recommendation for this story (since it is tradition) goes to "Xavier Rehabilitation Center for Gifted Youngsters" by Mazdamiatta ::::::: Basically, exactly what the title suggests. It's Rehab, mutant style. It has angst, drama, romance, everything you could ever want in an X-men story. So go and read it and review and make her post up more, because it's been a little while.

Oh, and a special thanks to everyone who read and reviewed **What does it take? (Calliann, deathgirl997, abril4, Nettlez, sheisbeautiful-sheisnotme, Genimay, xLebeaux, ) **That is another story that I spent a ridiculously long time working on, and I love to hear what you think of it. It was a very emotional piece and, if you haven't read it, you should go check it out. I am kind of really proud of how it turned out

Note: ooo0ooo denotes a flashback

and **words in bold** are lyrics to the song.

Enjoy!

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**Forgive Me, Love**

Rogue stared up at the old Victorian house in front of her. This place was her last shred of hope. If he was going to be found somewhere, it would be here. There was no other place he could be. She had checked all of his apartments across the world and she had waited at the mansion for him to return, but he never did. Deep down she knew that she had been saving this house for last on purpose, she knew that if he had survived he would be here. It was always his favorite; the place he went when he needed to clear his head. But she had been scared to face him, scared to see how he would react to her. Would he hate her for leaving him there, or would he take her back with open arms?

She had only been to this house once before and it had seemed much more open and inviting then. Now it loomed over her as her last line of hope that he had made it out alive, that she hadn't killed the love of her life by leaving him alone in a frozen wasteland to fend for himself.

She ran her hand across the wrought iron railing and put her foot on the first of the stone steps. What would she do if he wasn't there? What if he really was gone? Or what if he knew she would come looking and he had moved somewhere she would never find him because he couldn't bear to look at her any longer.

No, she told herself. He would come back here. This house on the river was his one constant in the world. The one thing that never left him and never changed. He had told her that when he brought her here. She was the only person he had ever brought here.

She took a deep breath and forced herself to climb the last two stairs onto the front porch. She could see her hand shaking as she took out the key he had given her in case she ever needed this place to be alone and to get away from everyone else. She felt the tears threatening to fall as she thought back to that day, but she forced them back and placed the key in the doorknob.

**I went to your house  
Walked up the stairs  
I opened your door without ringing the bell**

She heard the lock click into place and pushed the door in. Her hand reached around in the shadows until her fingers found the switchplate on the wall. She flicked the light on and the foyer in front of her instantly lit up. She quietly closed the door behind her and, for some strange reason, relocked it. Her footsteps echoed throughout the house and the sound of her boots on the hard wood floors seemed clumsy to her ears. She stopped to pull them off her feet and then continued her search.

She could already tell that he wasn't here, but she was hoping that there would be some clue, some small hint that he had been here recently. That he had stopped by even for a short period of time within the last month.

Rogue slowly approached the main staircase and took her time climbing to the top. The hallway stretched out before her as she saw the door she was looking for at the very end.

She continued walking slowly until she reached the doorknob which twisted easily under her hand. The room that opened up in front of her was exactly what she was expecting. The dark mahogany wood that made up the four-poster, the bureau and the closet doors blended in with the deep red walls which were brightened by the paintings of New Orleans spread across the walls. The curtains to the large picture window were open, allowing the sunlight to filter through and illuminate the room.

Rogue took two steps into the room and closed her eyes. She could smell him like he was standing right behind her. His unique mix of spices, bourbon, and cigarette smoke that was so utterly sexy brought a genuine smile to her face for the first time in over a month.

**I walked down the hall  
Into your room  
Where I could smell you.**

She opened her eyes and took in the rest of the room around her. The dark sheets on the bed were neatly made and the end table wasn't littered with any personal items. The only thing on it was a simple wooden picture frame.

She walked over to the bed and picked the photograph up. She was met with a picture of herself sitting on the roof at the mansion, staring off at something outside the frame. The sun was setting behind her and the wind was blowing a few curls across her face. She couldn't remember the picture being taken, but it looked to be a couple years old, something from when he first came to the institute.

Rogue felt another smile creep onto her lips at the thought that he had already cared for her back then, before they even really knew each other. That smile quickly turned into a frown, though, as she thought about how much he always enjoyed his privacy.

**And I shouldn't be here, without permission  
I shouldn't be here**

What would he think of her coming here and looking through all of his stuff? Of her letting herself into his house? Into the one house he had said was his most private and most loved place in the world. Would he be upset with her or would he understand what she was doing and forgive her because everything she was doing she did out of love?

**Would you forgive me, love  
If I danced in your shower**

Her thoughts strayed to the last time they had been in this house together. How they had danced together in his room under the moonlight and just held each other without speaking. And then how they had lain there in that very bed she was sitting on and spent the night in each others arms. Both perfectly content to stay that way forever. Or so they thought.

Rogue swung her feet up onto the bed with her and laid back against the pillows. Where had everything started to go wrong? How could she have missed it? There must have been some sort of trouble happening before that day. Before the trial. If there wasn't, then why would she have left him? Why would she be so quick to condemn him when she always assured him that his past didn't matter to her?

**Would you forgive me, love  
If I laid in your bed**

With his smell surrounding her and his sheets beneath her back, Rogue allowed herself to close her eyes and soak in the emotions she was feeling. She hadn't gotten a decent sleep since she left him there. She would constantly be awoken by nightmares of what he could be going through or by dreams of him coming back to her. She would wake up in tears nearly every night and fly to the roof to think things through. She would stay up there until the sun started to rise and the other inhabitants of the mansion came with it. Then she would either crawl back into her room or fly off in search of him in whichever place she thought to look next.

Now though, being in his room surrounded by his things, she almost felt relaxed. She could feel the stress starting to catch up with her and she let sleep overtake her without putting up any real fight.

**Would you forgive me, love  
If I stay all afternoon**

Rogue felt consciousness come back to her and jumped to her feet, taking in her surroundings. It took her a few seconds to remember where she was and then she let out a sigh, allowing herself to sink back into the bed behind her.

Night had fallen while she slept and the room was now bathed in the small amounts of moonlight that flooded through the large window. Rogue walked over to the picture seat and looked out at the landscape beneath her. The trees dark shadows over the grass and she could just make out the bank of a small stream running between the trunks. She rested her forehead against the cool glass and traced her reflection with her fingers.

Her hand dropped back into her lap and she felt the soft fabric of a bathrobe beneath her. She pulled it out from under her legs and ran the fleece between her fingers. Tears fought against her eyes as she thought of the last time she had seen him. Shirtless in the snow reaching out to her and begging not to be left behind.

Without even thinking about what she was doing, she slipped her jacket off of her shoulders and wrapped the robe around her body, taking in its warmth and his scent.

**I took off my clothes  
Put on your robe**

Rogue padded barefoot over to the dresser and ran her hand across the dark wood. Three more picture frames rested on its surface. One was from his childhood. Rogue could pick him out in the crowd of boys which she knew to be his brother and cousins. The next picture was a large group shot they had taken at the institute last Christmas.

She felt a surge of hope rise up in her stomach as she noticed the last picture. It showed the two of them sitting together in each others arms underneath one of the mansion's many trees. It had been taken the week before they left for _that_ mission.

ooo0ooo

"_C'mon chere, I don' have any pictures of y'." Remy shouted as he chased Rogue with the camera. She flew up to a nearby tree and hid herself in the branches._

"_Ah told ya already, swamp rat, Ah hate havin' my picture taken." Her voice sounded from somewhere within the branches._

"_But dese pictures be for Remy's eyes only."_

"_Oh and that makes it so much better." He could hear the sarcasm dripping from her voice._

"_What if Remy agree to be in the picture wit' y'? Den we could both have one, non?"_

"_Ah dunno, Rem."_

"_Please, chere . . . Rogue." She slowly flew down from the tree at the sound of name coming from Remy's lips and touched down just in front of his pouting face. She ran a gloved hand over his cheek and smiled._

"_Fahne, if it means that much ta ya, Ah'll pose in a picture with ya."_

_Remy's eyes sparkled with delight as he picked Rogue up and spun her around._

"_Merci, chere, Remy'll go get Stormy to take the picture."_

_He disappeared around the corner of the house and returned quickly with Storm in tow. He handed her his camera and quickly grabbed Rogue around the waist, pulling her down to his lap as he sat under the very tree she had just been hiding in. He placed a quick kiss on her forehead, covered momentarily by her white bangs._

"_Y' be de first family dis Cajun's had in a long time, Rogue, an' I wanna capture that."_

_Rogue felt tears threatening to fall at that statement, but wiped them away with a smile as Storm began snapping pictures. She didn't even care when the others came out of the mansion to watch and give suggestions._

ooo0ooo

They had sat for nearly half an hour taking different pictures and the one he had chosen showed them both looking at each others eyes obviously laughing at themselves. She didn't even know that he had gotten that film developed.

A small smile graced her lips as she began opening up drawers and searching through them. She still wasn't sure what exactly she was looking for, but she kept hoping that she would know it when she saw it. She fingered through his jeans, shirts, underwear, socks and everything else she found.

The last drawer she checked was filled with odds and ends anywhere from boxes of playing cards to small tools and his bottles of cologne. She sorted through them until she found the one labeled _Mambo_. She had bought it for him back when they first started dating and he had worn it almost every day from then on. The thought of that day and the smell of the cologne were too much for Rogue as she shoved the bottle back in the drawer and pushed it shut.

**I went through your drawers  
And found your cologne  
**

She practically ran out of the bedroom and down the stairs to the main floor of the house. She caught her breath as she entered the den and looked at the furniture that was so purely him. Overstuffed black leather couches were set up facing a large wooden entertainment system, but everything else in the room was classical and antique. The walls were decorated with gorgeous pieces of artwork that Rogue wasn't entirely sure were reproductions.

She crossed the room and kneeled down in front of the wooden drawers which she knew held all of his CDs. Sitting back on her heels, she pulled out the middle drawer and started scanning the titles for one she knew would be there.

Her eyes found the name she was looking for and, reaching out with her fingers, she pulled it from its place in line. She reached above herself to turn the stereo system on and pushed play.

She felt the tears form behind her eyes as the first chords of music came through the speakers. The soft voice filling the room surrounded Rogue, but all she heard was the memory of his voice.

**I went down to the den  
I found your cd's**

**And I played your Joni**

ooo0ooo

_Keep y' eyes closed, chere."_

"_Ah know, Ah know. Are we almost there?" Rogue complained sarcastically as she allowed Remy to guide her blindly by the hands. She felt his grip tighten for a quick second and then his lips met the back of her glove before her hands were dropped back at her side._

"_Remy?" She asked when she couldn't hear any movement around her._

"_Un moment, chere." She felt him walk back up to her side and slip his hand into hers._

"_k', chere, open 'em."_

_Rogue opened her eyes and found herself in the middle of the woods, with the river stretched out in front of her. The light of dozens of candles played off the surface of the water and she noticed that they had been arranged around a picnic blanket by the bank of the river. A beautiful dinner was set out on the blanket along with a large bouquet of flowers. She looked over to Remy and found that he was staring at her looking almost nervous._

"_Bon anniversaire," He whispered and a huge smile broke out on Rogue's face as she threw her arms around his neck. He quickly responded to her gesture and held tight to her waist._

"_Y' didn' t'ink I would forget, did y'," He murmured into her hair_

_-------_

_Rogue lay with her head in Remy's lap, staring up through the tree tops at the stars around them. They had finished their delicious dinner (and desert) and were now just sitting quietly together, him running his hands through her hair and her content to just lay there forever. _

_After a moment, though, Remy's hand stopped and she felt him shift underneath her._

"_Somethin' wrong, shugah?" She asked, turning to look into his face. He just smiled down at her and urged her to sit up so she was facing him. When she was at his level, he quickly stood and disappeared into the woods. Before she could get up to follow him, though, he returned, carrying his guitar with him._

_He sat down next to her again, a ridiculous grin on his face and opened his mouth like he was going to say something. Rogue paused, waiting for an explanation, but he just shook his head and looked down at his hands. Collecting his thoughts, he looked back up into her eyes, bright with anticipation, and started over again._

"_I coul'nt t'ink of anything t' buy y' f' our anniversaire, so I wrote y' dis song instead. I been workin' on it f' a while so, I hope y' like it."_

_Rogue, too stunned to say anything, just sat there as he began playing, happy tears streaming down her face at the amazing words he created. _

ooo0ooo

Before the song even reached the first chorus, Rogue was curled up on the ground crying her eyes out like she had done on their anniversary that day. This time though, they weren't happy tears.

He hadn't said that he loved her that day, but she should have realized it when he sang that song. It was his way of admitting that he wasn't strong enough to say the words out loud, but that he really did mean them. She should have realized that he trusted her almost more than he trusted himself. She should have known that he would do anything to protect her and she should have kept her promise that she would do anything to protect him. She should have trusted him enough. She should have _loved_ him enough.

Now all she could do was picture the way he had stared directly into her eyes as he sang those words he could never say out loud and revealed a part of himself that he had never shown to anyone. He was promising to change for her, to work for her…How could she have forgotten all of that so quickly?

_Gawd, gal, how did ya miss the signs, they were everywhere. First the house an' then the song. How could ya have left him like that when ya knew he needed ya?_

**  
And I shouldn't stay long, you might be home soon  
I shouldn't stay long**

Rogue picked herself up from the floor, the familiar strands of _their_ song having faded out to be replaced by something which seemed oddly out of place in the almost empty house. She quickly turned off the CD player and stood in the center of the room, just staring at everything around her.

She watched the hands of the grandfather clock tick slowly past 10:30pm and asked herself again why she was actually here. Did she really want to see Remy? It was getting late. What if he came back and found her looking through his drawers?

She pushed that through out of her head. Of course she wanted to see him, no, she needed to see him. She needed to look into his eyes and see if any of that love he once had for her still existed. She needed the chance to explain herself, to beg for his forgiveness. The thought of losing him forever, either to death or to a different life, was more than she could bear.

**Would you forgive me, love**

Trying to shake the desperation of those thoughts from her head, Rogue sent one last glance toward the grandfather clock and walked out of the den and stopped at the entrance to the large kitchen where Remy and once tried to teach her how to master his culinary skills.

ooo0ooo

"_No, Swamp Rat, Ah'm serious. Ya do not want ta see meh try ao cook. Ah'm a disaster."_

"_Nonsense, chere, y' can't be dat bad. An, b'sides, y' got Remy here t' teach y' how."_

_Rogue had no reply to that, she just shot him a glare as he fastened an apron around his waist and then proceeded to do the same for her._

_He began pulling things out of the cabinets, most of which Rogue had never seen before in her life. She just stood in the middle of the floor, trying not to get in his way as he ran around her with that dumb grin on his face._

"_Uh, so, where's the recipe we're usin'?" Rogue asked and Remy paused in his gatherings to give her a mock-hurt look._

"_Chere, y' t'ink Remy needs a recipe? Dis Cajun don' need no book t' tell him what's bon."_

_Rogue just rolled her eyes and let him continue what he was doing._

_An hour later, and Rogue could officially say that she was right._

_Her, Remy, the counters, the floors and just about every other surface in the kitchen had some sort of food splattered on it and they had nothing to show for their efforts. Remy was playing the picture of the patient teacher, but Rogue was ready just to give up and let him make the dinner himself._

_She was trying, once again, to measure out the salt for her sauce and just when she thought she had it perfect, the bottle slipped out of her hands and into the bowl, effectively ruining the sauce and splashing it onto her already dirty clothes. Growling with frustration she threw her hands in the air and turned towards Remy._

"_That's it! Ah'm done! Ah told ya Ah couldn't cook, but did you believe meh. Noooooo. Well, Ah wasn't lyin'. Look at meh, Ah'm a mess and Ah'm hopeless. Ah'm a hopeless mess!"_

_She was expecting him to deny her claims or try to convince her to try it one more time or say she wasn't that bad. What she wasn't expecting was for him to laugh. And laugh. And laugh some more. In fact, he was laughing so hard that he had to hold on to the counter for support. Rogue just stood with her arms crossed and glared at him without saying anything else._

"_Desole, chere, but it be true. Y' a mess if I ever saw one. An' y' a really bad cook." This dissolved into even more fits of laughter which, by now, were starting to become slightly annoying to Rogue. She reached out and smacked him on the shoulder._

"_Stop it. It ain't that bad."_

"_Oui, it really is." More laughter._

_Without putting much though into it, Rogue, reached for the spoon she had been using and filled it with sauce which she flung at Remy's face. He stopped laughing and managed to look surprised for a split second before lunging at her. She tried to move out of the way, but he was too quick and, in a moment, they were both on the floor, tangled up and slipping on the mixture of sauces covering the black and white tile._

_Rogue ended up on top once they stopped and, looking down at the food-soaked Remy, she couldn't stop herself from laughing as well. They both lay on the floor for quite a while, just laughing in each other's arms._

ooo0ooo

Unlike then, the kitchen Rogue was looking at now was spotless. There were no dishes in the sink, no food left out on the counter. The floor was perfectly clean and everything had been put away in its place. She ran a hand over the smooth surface of the cabinet closest to her and noticed that it had started to rain. She took off Remy's robe and stepped out onto the back porch, letting the water rush down on her.

**If I danced in your shower  
Would you forgive me, love**

Her eyes wandered over the backyard and stopped at the small garden tucked in the far corner of the lawn. She looked at the short picket fence and all the plants which seemed to be past their time of bloom and, for once, nothing looked familiar. She couldn't remember the garden being there before. She had definitely been out in this backyard before, but it was always just filled with grass and trees. She had even made a comment once about him needing flowers.

ooo0ooo

"_Why don't ya have a garden, Rem?" Rogue asked as she sat on the porch steps, Remy's arms wrapped around her shoulders._

"_Now what would I need a garden for, chere?" He asked. She could hear the smile in his voice without even turning to look at him._

"_Just ta have. Ah always had a garden at my house growin' up. It was my favorite place ta go when Ah needed ta think. Ah could just go out there and sit with the flowers and all my problems would melt away. Gardens just make people happy."_

_Remy seemed to think about that for a second before responding._

"_Y' have a fav'rite flower, chere?"_

"_White lilies," she responded without hesitation._

ooo0ooo

She stepped off the porch and slowly made her way to the garden. It was larger than she had though, with a little path running through the middle. It ran all the way to the woods and there was a bench buried in the back corner. She sat down on the bench and noticed a single flower had fallen into the mud. She reached down to pick it up and brushed the mud off its petals. A white lily.

She dropped down to her knees and stared at the flower in hand. He had remembered. He knew that she loved gardens and he had made one for her, with her favorite flower at the center. He had to be alive. This flower was a sign. This garden was too well taken care of. Even though the flowers weren't in bloom, there were no weeds growing and the path was clear and clean.

Struck with that realization, Rogue froze where she was. The rain was pouring down on her and the mud was seeping through her clothes, but she didn't care. Remy was alive. She had never felt so sure of anything in her life.

**If I laid in your bed  
Would you forgive me love  
If I stay all afternoon**

She wasn't sure how long she sat in the garden, just staring at that one flower which made all of her deepest desires come true, but she finally snapped out of it when a bright flash of lightning illuminated the sky around her, spreading light on her soaked clothes. Still clutching the lily in her hand, she pushed herself off the ground and strode back to the house, a new sense of determination running through her.

She was about to step back into the kitchen, but then she noticed the spotless white tile stretched out before her. She took in her muddy shoes and rain-soaked clothes and quickly stripped them off. She dumped them on the back porch and then entered the kitchen, slipping back into Remy's bathrobe which she had left by the door.

A chill ran through Rogue's body and she couldn't be sure whether it was from the rain or the realization that she could be seeing the love of her life again some time tonight.

_The love of my life, Remy Lebeau, huh, who woulda ever thought._

Still shaking from the cold, Rogue made her way back upstairs and entered Remy's private bathroom. He had a large, ornate tub on one side of the room surrounded by candles. A lighter rested on one side of the bath and Rogue picked it up. She held it for a few moments, noticing its weight in her hands before deciding to light some of the candles around her.

She watched the soft light reflect off the mirror and cast shadows around the room before leaning over to turn on the water. As the tub began to fill, Rogue walked back to the door to turn off the lights. As her hand reached the wall, she noticed a patch of white sitting on Remy's desk.

She crossed into his room and noticed that it was another white lily with a note attached to the stem.

**I burned your incense  
I ran a bath  
And I noticed a letter that sat on your desk**

The note was folded in half with just the word "chere" scrawled over the front. Rogue collapsed into the chair, her bath completely forgotten, and reached out a hand. She picked the flower gently from the desk and closed her eyes as she took in its sweet scent. Her hand shook as she observed the front of the card. Was it his writing? She couldn't tell. It seemed like years since the last time she had seen him scrawling down song lyrics in that old notebook he always carried. Taking a breath she opened the note and could not stop the tears from flowing at what it said.

**It said "Hello love, I love you so love, meet me at midnight"  
And no, it wasn't my writing  
**

_Chere,_

_I watched you come into my house this morning and I was struck by how _

_beautiful you are. I wanted to talk to you, but I could not find the right words_

_to say what I am feeling right now. When you fell asleep in my bed, though, I_

_could not hold off any longer. I miss you, Rogue. I have so much to say to you._

_Meet me at midnight tonight, at our spot by the river._

_J'taime._

_Remy_

The tears welled up again in Rogue's eyes and this time she did nothing to stop them.

**I'd better go soon  
It wasn't my writing**

It was really from Remy.

He was alive and he wanted to see her. He was waiting for her right now. Rogue felt a wave of relief rush over her body, more powerful than any emotion she had felt before. He said that he loved her. He _wrote_ that he loved her. Even after everything that had happened.

She tried to will herself to get back up, to go running into his arms, but she had to reread the letter again. And again. Tears of happiness streamed down her face as she stood up and made her way back to the bathroom. She had a short time left before she had to meet Remy and she needed to make sure she was fully prepared. They both deserved it.

**So forgive me love  
If I cry in your shower  
So forgive me love  
For the salt in your bed  
So forgive me love  
If I cry all afternoon**

**

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**

I hope you all enjoyed it. I know there was a lot of crying, but it is suppossed to be an emotional story and Rogue is all alone so, naturally, she can cry a lot more than she normally would when other people are around. 

I wrote this story using the original ending I had intended when I started writing it, oh so long ago, but, a few months after I started this, I was listening to the song and I realized that the ending is not anywhere near as happy as I wrote it to be. I was going to write an alternate ending with the letter coming from another woman to Remy, like the song goes, but I decided that I didn't like that and I was going to stick with my original idea, which is so much better ;)

So, now, press that tiny little button in the corner and send me a review! It's only a one shot so it's not like you'll commit yourself to having to respond to every chapter because, well, this is the only one!! So, make me happy (and make me write more) and let me know what you think!!!!!

Stay Classy,

Sam


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